I started this journey on Asiana Airlines; based out of Seoul and Korean in every possible sense;
It was interesting how much attention they placed on communal comfort, even up to the point of reducing individual autonomy; and they cannot seem to understand concepts outside of such a communal paradigm. The first example of this was when they tried to accomodate my needs for food. I am a vegetarian, and have been for 17 years or so. But having booked last minute tickets, I had not been able to request a special meal, and had packed my own snacks accordingly. However, when I refused the stewardess's meal, they seemed shocked, though through broken English (as they did not speak much of it); I explained the situation. She returned 10 minutes later with one of the most elaborately prepared plates of seafood I have ever seen. It took a number of hand signals, as well as much embarrassment on both of our parts, to convey that by being vegetarian, I did not eat any animals; including seafood. It was not part of her culture or understanding that one might not eat fish, so that had done an amazing job of attempting to feed me - never considering what my needs may be as separate from that ideal.
The other way in which this manifested itself was through what was permitted on the journey itself. The koreans tend to treat any long flight as something that should be slept through, in order to maximize time. I however, am used to gazing out the window, viewing the world from above - I enjoy the perspective on different places, or even the endless field of view stretching to the curved horizon that travelling over the Pacific affords. However, as soon as we reached a cruzing altitude, everyone else on the plane had already shut their windows. Oh well, I thought, as I continued to view the boundless beauty of the Azure field beneath me, punctuated by dalops fluffy white. I was then informed by the stwardess that I needed to keep my window shut, as the light was bothering a passenger across the plane who wanted to sleep. Not one next to me, or anywhere in my vicinity - but that one portal to viewing the outside world mmust be closed to to the interference with another's sleep, and that was simply what was done on a plane. Never mind the fact that it was daytime in both the timezone we were traveling from, and the place of our arrival.
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Upon arriving in Delhi, it was very interesting to see how clearly divided the roles where, especially in the tourist ghettho of Pahar Ganj. Instantly, one was clearly and unequivacably thrown into one of two opposing roles. If you were white, or from the far east, regardless of how you were dressed, the quality of your Hindi, etc., you were seen as a tourist/consumer, a target to whom one could sell whatever goods or services one was providing, or to be conned if one had no goods or services to sell. On the other hand, if you were a native, you were treated as a salesman, someone who wanted to get money off the tourists, regardless of what you were actually doing in the neighborhood.
Actually, when I was deboarding the plane, I ran into an amazing fellow named Jason, and we spent the next three days wandering around Delhi together, making suggestions to one another; and generally sharing the experience. Seeing oneself in another helps the journey go smoother in almost every conceivable way.
The other notable experience of the first stop in Delhi was the Gandhi Museum. (Different from the Gandhi Smitiri, which will be discussed later) Though mostly abandoned, and certainly underfuneded, the Gandhi museum was an amazing experience. I admit that the collection of Chakras (spinning wheels) was perhaps more than it needed to be, but other than that, it was complete in the amount of artifacts from Gandhi's life, as well as the in depth recounting of his narrative, and correspondences with other major figures. The most powerful part of the museum, however, was the 'Martyrdom Room' (of which no pictures were allowed) in which was encased the blood-stained dhoti that Gandhi was shot-in, as well as one of the bullets. The energy and sensation in the room was one of the most powerful I have ever felt, and caused me to break down in tears.
Close by, and almost unvisited by foriegn tourists is the fort of ....; slightly older than the famous red fort, and more impressive in original architecture (though also in worse condition), the crowing jewel of this was one of Ashoka's original pillars, placed atop a four story structure. ....
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Kumbh Mela
- The objectifying gaze of 10,000 eyes staring at you - STARING - not necessarily out of hostility, but as something foreign, an object, even out of curiosity, strictly enforces the dichotomy between subject and object.
-This leads one to 'objectify' those who are doing the staring, not as people or subjects in themselves, but as 'objectifiers'
- Most pilgrims seem to operate without autonomy - going only to their guru's camp; and following him her in whatever they proscribe, when they go for the ritual bath, etc. Thus, the vast majority of pilgrims end up seeing only a small fraction of the Kumbh camps. It is only the westerners, both with their curiosity, and the sense that they do not belong in any one particular place, who happen to attempt to view as much of the Mela as possible.
- In fact, the westerners that I met, especially those at the Rainbow Camp, pride themselves on their autonomy, there refusal to follow any directions that they don't consider and endorse themselves.
-all of these people in the same place for the same reason - yet generally not talking to each other (They will talk to the westerners, as we represent something out of place, a curiosity they they normally do not have access to), Instead, they simply follow the flow if energy as it takes them from one place to another... merely passing thoughts in the consciousness of the Mela itself.
One thing I noticed in my 'self' - the desire to fit in; not to be considered 'Indian', but also not to continually draw attention to myself as a foreigner. My friend Bart asked me the reason for this, and gave an answer which I believe to be correct- That I wanted to avoid being waved down by Indians in their curiosity simply because, in my Western-based mind, I wanted to retain my own autonomy, rather than having to react to the attention, comments, questions, conversations and invitations that were constantly being directed at me. Rather, I wanted the freedom to be alone in my own mind, analyzing the situation as being separate from it, rather than simply accepting my role as part of it. I wanted to consider myself outside - but not as part of the inner/outer dynamic, but also as separate from the dialectic itself - to be the impartial observer. But to take on that role already presumed that I was assuming things about myself; that I could be distinct from the situation; and that I could excuse myself from the attention of others. Whether it was the changes in my outward appearance, or whether it was simply a difference in my mental attitude, or the development of a blind spot to certain repetitive patterns - I did find more mental space for my personal reflection.
I did however notice that the attention paid to foreigners, be it through staring, invitations, or questioning was done out of a genuine curiousity, and desire to be hospitable, rather than for purposes of ostriazation, mocking, or reconeisence. They were a very inquisitive people, and the rarity of exposure to people from outside the countries borders, made them want to know as much as possible, whether simply through their eyes, their language, or hand gestures.
A main difference between the cultures, however, and relating to notions of personal identity, is the idea of 'personal space'. For the Indians such a thing does not exist, and concepts such as priviacy, comfort zone (2-3 feet around a person), inappropriate questions (see privacy) are unknown to them, especially of the lower classes, who often live in states of perpetual crowding with each other. This makes things difficult for the westerners, who are accostumed to, as common courtesy, not being pressed against other people; not having to answer questions about one's personal and family history, or financial sitiuation, and to be able to have conversations without everyone in earshot attentively listening. This is not a fault of the Indian culture, but just a difference between a communal idea, based on shared mentality, and the rabid individuality we cultivate in the European based cultures.
A minor point I noticed after all of this, is that even the conmen of India will often not do it without your permission. They may be happy to lie, scam and cheat, and in fact many businessmen are expected to do it, but they will not take anything from you unless you give explict permission. Thus fraud is allowed, as long as you can convince the other to go for it, but violating one's person by taking thing via force is a much much greater taboo to be broken.
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Three random views on self by three random Babas I met at the Mela:
Rakesh Mataji: The Spine is the Self. It is what supports you, what connects your various aspects, and the channel to both the above and below.
Random Vaihnavite Baba: Always keep smiling - Life is a Camera. (added consequence - nothing you do is private)
Om Giri - Just continually ask 'Who Are You?'
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Ramana Maharishi's words 'Who am I?' keep coming back. Especially as I do not know my place at the larrgest gathering in human history.
Am I a scholar?
Am I a Rainbow?
Am I a Seeker?
Each of these have different practices and roles that go with them. And in trying to fulfill all of them, I am not succeeding in any, bringing me back to asking the question.
I am not seeking a 'peak experience' as many of my western counterparts. Nor am I seeking acceptance into a particular group, culture or sect. I am seeking understanding of this event - albeit from an outsider's perspective - but without wanting the enforced separation of being a tourist or journalist.
For many here, the westerners present are the first ones they have ever seen - and are rightfully curious; but without the notion of personal space, it can become uncomfortable to those who are used to such barriers/courtesy.
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The belief in atman is so strong that the activities of this life are meaningless and uncontrollable. Your fate or dharma is determined, and if there is nothing left, why go through with it? The 45 who died in the stampede will be considered as 'good' deaths - done in pursuit of holy pilgrimage, and therefore will lead to better lives, if not freedom from the karmic cycle.
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So many people at the gathering - with such limited resources devoted to caring for them - yet in someway it all seems to work. It is certainly the highest population to resource ration I have see... wth food and shelter for almost all - very little theft, and almost no violence to be heard of. The only main issues become those of crowd control and hygiene.
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Speaking of which the treatment of the Harijan of Dalit community is fascinating yet repulsive. The majority of Indian society treats them as the part of themselves which they hate - the dark mirror onto which they can project their negativity
Two Examples:
1. I was walking with two city youth - obviously with some money and higher education. As we walked lat at night, I happened to walk through the dust cloud of a dalit sweeping the street (Rotary Sponsored). They immedately started berating him, threatening physical violence - and it took much cajoling on my part to get them to stop - insisting that it was my fault; after which they told me he was a 'dirty, dirty man' and continued to insult him between themselves as they walked on.
2. The second case was a family who invited me into their tent - treating me as an honored guest. They had a harijan whom they allowed into their space - but as a servant, and ordered him around as if a slave. They made him sign bhajans to me as if I were a guru, and touch my feet; to this I objected, but did not have the Hindi to express myself properly, nor did I want to insult their hospitality.
However, the sanitation of the Kumbh Mela, & India in general would not be possible if not for these people. Most see the jobs they do as repulsive - and even the western organizations seem to believe that only Harijans are suitable to hire for these unpleasant tasks, mostly beacuse no one else would take them... especially for the lote rate of pay that is offered.
